I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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