For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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