Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
