I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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