ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
