I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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