I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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