i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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