This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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