would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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