yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
