There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
