D3 body, D1 cock
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
