its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
