It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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