he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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