you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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