Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
