"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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