Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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