"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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