watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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