before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
