It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
