Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize