This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
