i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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