O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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