He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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