i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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