Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize