Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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