Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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