Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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