3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
