We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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