Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
ttyl tear gas
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
