Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
