it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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