i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
