and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
