I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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