He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize