I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
