then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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