I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
