i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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