u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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