don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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