My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
