We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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