I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
