it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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