What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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