I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize