Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
