We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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