Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
