Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
